Archive for May, 2012

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The Rangers were the last hope I had for a winning season and the joy of seeing a team I love raise the cup. Tampa Bay didn’t make it to the playoffs this year so at least I only had one broken heart to deal with unlike poor Vicky.

The Rangers did something great for me this year they brought me closer to Vicky and we gave the hockey world another fan, Maki. And if that’s all I have to take with me this season the I think we won.

On to next year and another glorious season of hockey.

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It’s taken me all day to sit down to write this post.  This is the strangest I’ve ever felt as a fan after my team lost a championship game — numbness.

I’m usually a crier.  I get so emotionally involved in teams and players, that I think I feel the pain they feel when they lose.  Yes, I’m delusional. And probably need some kind of medication.

But seriously, the personal investment is big, and because of that, so is either the payoff, or the pain.

This year’s team was special to me. And to Nikki.  We fell in love with this particular group of guys. Year in and out, you root for your teams, but this one, this gang of brothers, felt different.  When Hank said in last night’s post-game interview he thought this was their year, because so many things happened that were special, even in the playoffs, as a player you hope it’s signs for something good.  And that when it’s over it’s such an empty feeling, a light bulb went on in my head.

Hank is amazing for so many reasons, and just one of them is that interview.  He had the balls to go and face the press after that loss.  The pain I saw on his face was enough to break my heart.  But it didn’t.  And I couldn’t understand why.  Then, because of Henrik, I understood it’s because I feel empty.

This season really filled up my life, as pathetic as that sounds.  It’s like you are this huge balloon filled with helium, and instead of being released in euphoria up into the skies, to eventually come down, yes — but only after an amazing ride — the air inside you was just whooshed out with the quickness  of being stabbed with a pin. It takes seconds to become an empty shell.

I still can’t really believe it.  Did we really lose?  Did it really happen last night? Was it a bad dream? Because this was our year, our special team, and even the ghosts of ’94 seemed to be on our side.

But they aren’t. And it did.

I wandered around the house today, getting back to some semblance of “normalcy,” and it felt weird.  And I’m still numb.  I think this is a defense mechanism, so I don’t turn into a bawling mess in the fetal position on the floor.  At least this is what I tell myself.  It sounds like good amateur psychology.  And here is some more: I will get over it.  It may take a while, but I will eventually move on.  And Ranger fans, you will too. For all the non-Ranger fans who read this blog, thanks very much for listening and letting me have my pity party here. I know you understand, you’ve been there yourselves.

Sexy Saturday is now on hiatus until the fall season begins.  I have some fun stuff planned to do this summer, so we won’t be rolling up the sidewalks. We were never about game analysis and stats anyway, so the summer won’t bother us much.  We’ll have some fun with Photoshop, post some more videos, discuss some interesting topics, and be on the lookout for summer photos of players in beach attire. ;D  But Sexy Saturday will come back — with players from all over the league — better than ever.  Well, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do any Jersey players.  I hold a mean grudge.

Not that any NJ Devils fans read this blog, but if you do, you may want to turn away. I’m about to do a little “UnSexy Saturday.” I warned you about the grudge.

 

THEIR MASCOT:

This is what they are named after? It looks like an anorexic bat with a camel head. And toes ;P

 

THEIR COACH:

It was bugging me all playoffs who he reminded me of.  Then last night, I figured it out:

I’ll illustrate it for you:

Am I right????

 

THEIR GOALIE:

At first I thought, hmmm, maybe he’s a potato head too?  Nope, I thought, he’s this:

No illustration needed.

 

Know what will never get old?  THIS:

I could watch that all day.  Rupper for Secretary of Defense.

 

Okay, I’m done.  Normally I try to not be so biased here on the blog, and include all hockey fans, because those are the blogs I like to read.

 

But not today. Today is angry pity party day.

 

Until I see this.  This never gets old either, and always makes me smile.  I think I need that right now. Boyler?

Thanks, Buddy.  Thanks.

 

 

Today was the day the world was gifted with a talented hockey player, in Yaroslavl, Russia:

We love ya, Arty, and Boyler’s impersonations of you:

с днем рождения, or Happy Birthday, Artem!

 

Oh, yeah.  It’s Nikki’s birthday too. *yawn*  Ha ha, just kidding.

 

Arty wanted to share something with Nikki:

Aww, he’s so sweet.  Blow out the candles, you two!

 

Someone else has a card for you…..

 

He’s so thoughtful.  And it wasn’t easy for him. He was worried about his card when he talked to Nealer about it:

 

Wow!  Must be fun being you, Nik.  Hank wanted to wish you a happy birthday in person, but he’s too busy painting my toenails.  So he sends his regards.

But seriously, thanks for being the most awesome hockey-chica-sista and blog buddy in the “entire humoongoose universe, it’s so huge.”  This awesome blog post better be a good enough present for you.

Okay, to cheer up all us Ranger fans, I just made this gif. Enjoy. (click on it to play)

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no it’s……….

Keeping with our superhero theme, this week I chose someone who has been likened to Captain America.  As well he should be.  He is one of three American-born captains in the Stanley Cup Playoffs.  (Are you paying attention, Canada?)  He is a New Yorker.  He wears red, white, and blue.  His heroics have saved his team (Avengers? Rangers?) too many times to count.  And I imagine he’d look really hot in blue spandex.

This week’s Sexy Saturday is…..

RYAN CALLAHAN
Stats

Vitals: Born March 21, 1985, Rochester, NY, USA. 5’11″, 185 lbs.  Wife Kyla Callahan.

Nickname(s): Captain Cally. Ryan “The Right Way” Callahan (according to Dan Girardi).

Current team: New York Rangers. Forward. Shoots right. Captain.

Fancy awards: 2006 Leo Lalonde Memorial Trophy (OHL).  2007 All-Rookie Team (OHL).  2009, 2010, 2012 awarded the Steven McDonald Extra Effort Award. 2010 Olympic Silver Medal (USA).

Cool trivia: His first NHL goals were a pair he scored on St. Patrick’s Day, in Boston.  What a good Irish lad!  Is actually half Irish, his mother is Italian. Is the 5th-youngest team captain in Ranger history.  Favorite player growing up was Brendan “Shana-banned” Shanahan.  Loves him some chicken parmesan (you’ll see this in the videos) for his game day meal.  Favorite movie is Wedding Crashers.  Likes to play golf.  Is a country music fan, though has admitted to having a Mylie Cyrus song on his iPod.

Really, Cally?  Mylie Cyrus? C’mon, do you really like her music?

(courtesy: HenrikSaves)

Whew, ok.  You had me worried there for a minute.  Just give us a smile, we can forgive and forget, and get on with this show.

Awww!  Cally, you can play anything you want.  You’re as cute as some chicken parm!

 

 

CAPTAIN RANGER:

Tres cool.

BAMF

Those Emo kids got nothing on me.  Look at my perfect pouty lips, and pensive gaze…..*sigh*
(Photo by Scott Levy/NHLI via Getty Images)

I saw what you did there. In two seconds, I’m gonna come over and kick your ass. And not even mess up my gorgeous face.

 

SHOWING A LITTLE SKIN:

HOCKEY THIGHS!!!!!
Golfing with best buddy Danny G.

Soccer before game. Pointing your toes always helps your game, and shows your calves off. Prusty is shocked.

More hockey thighs!! Cally and Stepan getting ready before the winter classic. Cally even showing a little bicep there under the gray shirt. So modest.
(Photo by Dave Sandford/NHLI via Getty Images)

 

 

HBO’s 24/7:

You’ve got to watch the real thing — all four episodes. As I’ve stated earlier, it is hockey crack.  Even the earlier series with the Pens and Caps is awesome.  But if you can’t see it in its entirety, you can see a segment from Brad Richard’s “Ugly Sweater Christmas Party” (which Cally wins) in Brian Boyle’s Sexy Saturday post.  Go ahead, click over there and watch it.  I’ll wait.

Ok, now that you’ve seen that, here are some screen caps from the rest of the Rangers series:

*guh*

Cally looking for a cab to commute to The Garden. Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll pick you up. Especially in that sweater.

Cally and Prusty skating in Central Park with the WAGS. Gotta love NYR fashion — rawr.

Um, HI. See, I TOLD YOU YOU NEED TO WATCH 24/7! Would I ever steer you wrong? Here a team trainer (who is clearly on our side) wants Cally to strip down so he can ice his shoulder. Yes, please.

Now he’s iced up and eating his chicken parm. With peek-a-boo pects. Delish.

 

Winter Classic:

Don’t call it a toque. I’m AMERICAN.

I told you they were the sexiest team in hockey. Maybe after 20 million photos, you will believe me.

 

OLYMPIAN:

I pledge the allegiance to YOU.

I love how he’s squat stretching on the words “plus brillants exploits.”

 

LITTLE CALLY:

AWWW. Look out, Hankie!

Already sporting the red, white and blue, Cpt. America!

 

VIDEO:

First up we have an older video from MSG called “Player Profile.”  You’ll see Cally wearing #43, and #24 as an Alternate Captain.  They boldly predict that one day he will wear the “C.” Heh heh.  Still, a really nice profile on his playing and career, and accolades from a lot of different people.  About 20 min long:

 

Next up, Hankie, Prusty, and Richie show him some love on an NBC break:

 

Finally is the AWESOME series MSG network did called “Beginnings.” Boyle, Staal, Stepan, and Callahan all got one. I linked Boyle’s on his Sexy Saturday profile.  Now it’s Cally’s turn.  This series is great because you get to meet the fam, see the home town, the schools, the coaches, the girlfriends/friends, as well as the beginning of their hockey career.  It is also about 20 min long.  Can’t tell you how much I love these shows.

 

Okay, finally it’s time again for One-Degree-of-Henrik-Lundqvist.

So. Much. Pretteh.

 

Cally has been called the heart of the team.  Hankie has been called the backbone.  One fires emotion, one gives strength.  Together they show their boys that you need both to win. They admire and respect each other, and in turn are admired and respected.  Each is different, but like a right and left hand, they work in conjunction to accomplish the goal.  I don’t know who made this sign, but it is a brilliant illustration of this concept.

 

Exactly.

 

 

On that note, kids, time to say good-bye for another week.  Cally hoped you enjoyed it.  Now, go have some chicken parm.  Captain America will keep the world safe while you do.

It’s game 7 day here, time for….

This week it’s Nikki’s choice, and as discussed last week, it’s another Ranger. We’re doing Rangers from here on in, folks. Sit back and enjoy the Sexy ride.  And who is the driver this week?  Well, he’s sexy, of course, and he’s funny, Twitter savvy, a scrapper, and everyone’s best friend.  If I told you he has the second-best scruff next to The King, does that give it away? Yes, you guessed it, here is….

BRANDON PRUST

Stats

Vitals: Born March 16, 1984, London, ON, CAN. 6’0″, 192 lbs.  Girlfriend Maripier Morin.

Nickname(s): Prusty. In Prust We Trust.

Current team: New York Rangers. Left Wing (Forward). Shoots Left.

Fancy awards: During his junior career, he won an OHL and Memorial Cup Championship. April 7, 2011, was awarded the Steven McDonald Extra Effort Award.

Cool trivia: Has an uncle who was a Broadway actor, and he also enjoys going to Broadway shows in his spare time. Other interests include golf and watching baseball.  Likes to follow Dennis Leary on Twiiter. Loves to play Angry Birds on his iPad. Once gave his dad a John Deer riding mower for a Father’s Day gift. Had his jaw broken in 2008-2009 season after being elbowed by Cam Janssen. Favorite movies are Major League and Anchorman. A bit of a Fashionista, gives a lot of clothing advice to his team mates.

Brandon, what do you say you put on some of those fancy clothes, so we can get started?

Well, on second thought, you can just hang out naked.  We won’t mind.

But first, tell me what you think of my eyes.

Aww. *blush*  You charmer, you.  Just for that, I’m picking this best pics of you.  Here they are:

RANGER:

OTHER TEAMS:

Seriously, the only photo I could find of him as a Coyote. Fighting. Typical.
(photo credit: Paul Bereswill/Getty Images)

Aww, draft day! June 26, 2004 — he looks so young!
(photo credit: Scott Halleran/Getty Images)

But not as young as here! Playing for the London Knights. I used this pic last week for Dan Girardi, but it was too good not to post again. The hair!! Loves it ;D

DRESSED UP:

Here is a video from the above shoot. I was saving it until I’d “Sexy Satruday’d” every Ranger in it. Boyle, Richards, Girardi, Prust….mouthwatering.  This video proves they are the most gorgeous team in the NHL:

I love Prust — “I think that goes with your eyes.” “Boyler, I got yours. Nice pink. Wild salmon.”  The stylist obviously isn’t needed!!

UNDRESSED UP:

Oh Broadway Hat, the stories you could tell. I’m so jealous of the heads you’ve sat on….*wink

Don’t know who the other dudes are on the right of this photo are, but who cares! Boyler, Richards, Eminger, and half-naked Prust!!

Twitter….it makes us do silly things. Luckily for us, it made Brandon post this UnderArmor pic.

“WooHoo!”

EPIC BROMANCE:

If you are a Ranger fan, or if you’ve watched HBO’s 24/7, you know about Boyler and Prusty.  The cutest, sweetest thing since cotton candy and teddy bears. If you have not seen 24/7, the best clips of these two are on my Sexy Saturday of Brian Boyle (courtesy of Eeames), but do yourself a favor, and just go watch all four episodes.  Here’s just a small sample of this Bros Before Hoes friendship….

Our Super Awesome Post-Game Handshake

Okay, video time…

Prust in the boxing ring.  Hold onto your panties, ladies — he’s showing a lot of muscle and skin ;D

Here he is in Calgary, trying an alternate career? lol.

This one shows Brandon’s teasing personality. He’s mic’d up at practice.  The audio is pretty low, so turn up the volume.

Who else is gonna say, “I don’t know how you look at yourself in the mirror every day,” to Lundqvist?  Hysterical!

And speaking of Lundqvist, let’s do One-Degree-of-Henrik for this week.  Of course, as Prusty is a Ranger, this isn’t hard, so I’ve got three I’d like to share:

He’s a hugger.

He is indeed, Brandon.

Well, that’s it for today. Hopefully we have brought you the Sexy, and Prusty some great game mojo. Until next week, for another lip-licking edition! Right Prusty?

You betcha!

Hi Guys, it’s

So Nikki and I had a discussion this week about Sexy Saturday.  We usually kick around ideas for a player, and then pick someone.  This last week, I told Nikki that I didn’t want to continue Sexy Saturdays in the off-season.  First of all, it takes a lot of time to do, and I just don’t have that much time every weekend of the year. Hockey season, I’m pretty much breathing it 24/7, but in the summer I’d like a break. We started this blog kind of late in the hockey year, and I can see doing Sexy Saturdays for a full season will be a lot. Plus, I think finding 52 different guys every year will diminish the quality — just because you play hockey, doesn’t mean you are Sexy Saturday worthy. Let’s face it, there are some damn fugly guys in the NHL (I’m looking at you, Torres).  Therefore, I’ve decided not to do Sexy Saturdays past the Stanley Cup Championship.  That doesn’t mean we won’t be updating the blog. I have lots of ideas for some new features that I think you guys will love. And this will give us the time to do them.

With that decided, it came down to figuring out who we wanted to pick for this week.  As some of you may know, Nikki is a huge Lightning fan, while I am a huge Sharks fan.  But together we love the Rangers.  And a lot of people who read this blog are Ranger fans.  The TwitterBlueShirts are pretty amazing, and I have never seen that kind of social media connection out in the West.  This isn’t to say that we don’t love and appreciate all the people who read this blog who aren’t Ranger fans. We have tried, and will do a better job in the future, of spreading the love to other players or teams.  And I enjoy reading blogs by other people who are fans of teams I really don’t care for, if they are fair and don’t belittle other fans and their teams. (We can’t be held responsible for Tweets made in the heat of a game — we get vicious, lol!!)  That being said, I am picking another Ranger this week.  And probably next week, and so on.  I’m sending them all the MOJO. But don’t worry, guys, because the Rangers are the Sexiest Team out there, so you won’t be disappointed.  We are a bit shallow here at The 5 Hole, and on Saturdays, it is all about the PRETTY.

A glance at the calendar today, and I knew exactly who to pick.  It is Cinco de Mayo, and so this week, I pick number 5, Cinco de Danno,

DAN GIRARDI

Stats

Vitals: Born April 29, 1984,  Welland, ON, CAN. 6’2″, 215 lbs.  Wife Pamela, son and 24/7 star Landon.

Nickname(s): Dan (full name is Daniel), “G,” G-Money, Girard, Danny G.

Current team: New York Rangers. Defense. Shoots right. Interim Alternate Captain when Marc Staal was out with post-concussion syndrome.

Fancy awards: 2012 NHL All-Star. 2012 nominated for Masterton Trophy (which honors perseverance, sportsmanship and dedication to hockey). Undrafted, yet now considered an elite defenseman. 2010-2011 season led NHL in blocked shots with 236.

Cool trivia: Favorite tv show is Family Guy. Favorite meal is gnocchi with meat sauce. (good Italian boy!) His first job was a dishwasher at a Chinese restaurant.  Ruptured his spleen being checked into the boards in 2001. He admires people who are hard-working and honest. Favorite thing to say is “you know.” (you’ll see what I mean in the videos)

Ready to go celebrate Cinco de Danno?

It’s a go then.

RANGER BLUE

During his stint as Alternate for Staal. Leadership looks good on him.

The eyes….the cheekbones…the jaw…..the lips….the teeth….why is he playing hockey and not modeling? AND WITHOUT A VISOR!!

Pre-game intense face.

2012 All Star Game

Laser eyes gonna melt you in the face-off.

Getting injured, and playing through it LIKE A BOSS. Remember what I said about the VISOR? Perhaps we who love his face can take up a petition…..you too, Boyle….

The most skin I could find Dan showing. He doesn’t look happy about it either. But, you can see hockey thighs!

And more hockey thighs!

“MODEL” CITIZEN

“Ladies.”

I’d like this to hang on my wall in the portrait gallery.

*guh*

Gatsby has nothing on me.

Suits you, sir.

2012 Casino Night. I’ll have a martini — shaken, not stirred.

YOUNGSTER

2005, that’s Prust and Girardi playing for the London Knights. Oh, the 70’s porn hair! Love it!

2007, with the Wolfpack. And some curls.

But if you want to see the cutest youngster ever, let me introduce you to Landon Girardi:

*mwah*

For more of his adorable-ness, and Dan being the cutest hockey dad ever, watch HBO’s 24/7.

VIDEO!

Here is a quick Dan Fun Facts video from the Rangers.  Dan’s monotone is awful, but his “grrrreat!” and laugh at the end are tres sexy!

Here you get to see a little more of Dan’s fun personality, when he announces the line-up for the Winter Classic:

And finally, this video is a little long, but you get to see Dan’s humble nature, looking gorgeous in a suit, saying “you know” every five seconds:

Which brings us last, but not least, to One-Degree-of-Henrik-Lundqvist.  Here they are, getting their hug on at the 2012 All-Star Game, where Hank picked Dan for Team Alfredsson.  Muy caliente! cinco de Danno!

Well, that’s it.  All that’s left is for Dan to give us his send off:

Gracias!  That felt great.