Archive for April, 2012

What day is it?

Nikki’s choice again, and NEWS FLASH — it’s a TB Lightning.  Shocker!  I’m not jealous, or anything, because her team has a bunch of gorgeous guys, and my Sharks have….maybe two?  I could make a case for three, but may be pushing it. (At least we both love the Rangers, and can use that team for Sexy Saturdays from now until the end of time.)

I actually agreed whole-heartedly with her choice, and not just because he was announced this week as a Hart Trophy finalist (though that is great!).  But because I don’t think you have to be drop-dead gorgeous to be sexy.  You can be talented, and funny, and manly, and modest while still a bad-ass, and those things can make you sexy.  I think this week’s choice is the perfect example of that.  Plus, he’s cute, has a great smile, and some flowin’ hockey hair.  He’s this week’s Sexy Saturday….



Vitals: Born February 7, 1990,  Markham, ON, CAN. 6’1″, 188 lbs.  Girlfriend Sandra Porzio.

Nickname(s): Stammer.

Current team: Tampa Bay Lightning. Center. Shoots right. Alternate Captain.

Fancy awards: 2012 & 2011 NHL All-Star. Most goals in a season by a Tampa Bay Lightning player (2011-2012 ).  Most overtime goals by a player in a single season, 5 (2011-2012).  2010 & 2012 Maurice “Rocket” Richard Trophy. 2012 Hart Trophy finalist .  2009 World Championship silver medal (Canada). 2008 World Junior Championship gold medal (Canada).

Cool trivia: Is of ethnic Macedonian and Scottish descent.  In 2011, Stamkos was named the cover athlete to the EA Sports® NHL 12 video game.

Okay, Steven, jump in and give us a smile if you’re ready to go.

Thank you.




Stamkos Stare.

I better not get any crap from Nikki about Lundqvist doing a Head & Shoulders commercial in Sweden.

Hockey muscles, and a bonus L. Couture!

This is how they work out on the Canadian farm? Who cares, we see muscles!



I look damn good.

Sick flow.
(Photo by Andy Marlin/NHLI via Getty Images)

Cutest. Smile. Ever.



Someday I want to be like Lundqvist...

Stammer is the meat in this Hedman/Malone sandwich. (note: only BAMF who score 60 goals can pull off pink polka dot cuffs.)



Ladies, hold on to your ovaries, we've got a cute one!

Already a goal-scoring machine.



Guess what? Steven can write.  Or at least has a good copy-editor.  He wrote a blog from the NHL ASG this year, and it’s a fun read.  Here’s the link:

Steven’s ASG blog


Wanna see Steven working out? Bonus Michale del Zotto included for Ranger fans:


This interview is hysterical, and Steven is a good sport.  I love the “Stam-bam-thank-you-mam” idea.  Nikki will LOVE the Lecavalier mention.


This video is Steven’s house (apartment) tour for Bauer from a couple years ago. Looks like his first place, he’s pretty funny in it. I still think he has more stuff than Neal:


And last, but never least, ONE DEGREE OF HENRIK LUNDQVIST!

This week, Steven Tweeted this:

Aww!  That would be almost good enough, but I was able to find this….

(Photo by Dave Sandford/NHLI via Getty Images)

….from the 2012 NHL All-Star Game.  I zoomed in the Team Alfredsson shot.  With bonus Sexy Saturday almunus Kris Letang!  Henrik brings everyone together….


That does it for this week.  I’ll just leave let Steven say good-bye until next week.



Today is (was? I’m late, as usual) Kris Letang’s birthday!!

I couldn’t resist this one — for The Cat’s birthday. You Tanger fans will know exactly what I’m talking about.

Hey Kris, how old are you gonna be?

Hmm. Okay, well, Tanger may be a little math-challenged.  But wait, if you watch this gif 25 times, then he’s right!

And who cares, really, how many years it takes to make this?

Let’s just appreciate every one.

And if for his special day, you want to see Kris play-fight with Deryk Engelland like a couple of polar bear cubs, then watch this:

Hopefully you got through the over seven minutes of this to reach the end, where Kris is left shirtless and pouting on the ice.  God Bless for shooting this video.

And God Bless Kris, for being the sexy goof-ball you are.  We here at the blog thank your mother for her awesome contribution to the hockey world.

Hey ya’ll its Nikki here and I wrote a little diddy in honor of the playoffs and the insanity that has been the 2012 playoff season. So without further ado ladies and gentleman here it is!

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

The beards are a growin’

Shanahan’s suspending

Wonder who’s next

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be 5 for fighting

Gatorade flying and

Malkin won’t score

There’ll be one-sided refs and

Tales of cups won

Long long ago

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

There’ll be much celebrating and

Hearts will be breaking

When the cups held high

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

It’s a little rough I know but it made Vicky and I giggle so I thought I would share it with all of you.


Hi Everyone, it’s time for…

It’s back to Vicky, and it’s another Ranger.  Not that Nikki disagrees with me.  We talked about it, and decided this was a special case.  The Rangers are one game away from elimination, and we can’t seem to figure out how to beat Ottawa without him.   Now with the dirty hit on Boyle, giving him a concussion and taking him out of the series , we need all the good mojo we can get.  And so this week we’re picking someone who could use a great big ol’ dose of luck, someone who got the short end of the hockey stick and will sit out his third (and LAST, thank God) game from a suspension this Saturday night.  Yes, I bring you:


Vitals: Born August 23, 1988, Södertälje, Sweden. 5’11″, 176 lbs.  Single.

Nickname(s): Hags, Swagelin.

Current team: New York Rangers. Left Wing. Shoots left.

Fancy awards: 2012 NHL Rookie All-Star, won Fastest Skater challenge. Um, did I mention he’s a rookie?  Lots of college awards from Michigan and CCHA, including finalist for Player of the Year (2010-2011), Best Defensive Forward Award (2010-11), All-CCHA First Team (2010-11), CCHA Champions (2009-10).

Cool trivia: Best trivia can be found on this video:

In the video…..he does a Picachu impersonation, he sings in Swedish, and at the very last second you glimpse the HOCKEY THIGHS, because he’s wearing shorts.  Excuse me while I go throw some ice water on myself. *thud*

Anywho, I’m back, and it’s time to talk turkey.  Or elbows.

For those of you who don’t know, on April 15th, Carl was given a three-game suspension for elbowing Daniel Alfredsson in the head.  Now, he did do it, but has said it was not intentional.  I believe him, and not just because I’m a Rangers fan. He has stated that Alfredsson is a Swedish hockey hero of his, and in earlier interviews I heard him say how excited he was to meet Alfredsson at the All-Star Game.  He would never mean to hurt him.  He texted Alfredsoon to apologize for the incident.  He has never had a major penalty in hockey, anywhere.  Obviously is not a repeat offender, as Carkner is (Shanahan’s words), who was only given a one-game suspension for targeting Brian Boyle for a fight in the same game.  But Shanahan doesn’t give a shit, and so Carl was PUT IN HOCKEY JAIL.

What did you think of this, Carl?

Carl doesn’t like.

Immediately, Ranger fans sprang into action:

What did you think of this, Carl?

Carl likes.

Tonight is the last game of the suspension. Then he gets one of these:

Like it? I made it. Feel free to use.

The next game he will play in will be April 23.  He better unleash the fucking fury.

*ahem* Language, ladies!

Now that we’ve Freed Hags, how about appreciating THE PRETTEH?

Carl likes.


"Are you there, Hockey God? Thanks for the Flow."

And, NO, this isn't your One-Degree-of-Henrik-Lundqvist! Though it totes could be! This is just ASG 2012.

This one is for Nikki. Hags and Richie.

This one is for Boyler. HEAL FAST!! ❤


Carl in a toque. Proud of me, Canadian readers?

This photo was the most skin I could find Carl flashing. We need to send him to the Kris Letang School of Shirtless Modeling.



2012 Casino Night. Carl just got carded. (j/k)


Showing just a tad more skin, and some nice arm muscles, gripping that Red Bull.

credit: Lon Horwedel |

Here you see the "icy-blue" eyes.

To find out what I mean by the above caption, and learn many other fun things about Carl, watch this video from his days at Michigan.  FUNNY STUFF:

His accent is a little thicker there. So cute!

If you are wanting some more Carl-on-video, here is a nice interview, from when he was with the Whale:

Okay, about ready to wrap this thing up with a good luck bow.  Just enough space to bring you this week’s One-Degree-of-Henrik-Lundqvist. Brought to you by the Swedish Maffia:

Swagelin, King Henrik, and er, just Anton Strålman at 2012 Casino Night. Is it something in the water, Sweden??

Thanks for stopping by for another edition.  Here’s hoping  Sexy Saturday alumnus Brian Boyle’s concussion isn’t serious, and that Hags can score like a madman to win it all for Boyler.

Carl likes.

A day late, but worth the wait. It’s…..

This week we are back to Nikki’s pick, and I have to say, I whole-heartedly agree with this one.  If she hadn’t picked him, I would have, which doesn’t always happen on this blog.  (she doesn’t understand my obsession with Letang’s hair, but really, you get it or you don’t, right?)

He was the hero in the last Pens/Flyers game, scoring the winning goal.  And let me just add in here, that as a Rangers fan, it hurts to root for the Flyers.  But you all know how we feel here at the 5 Hole about Crosby, and though we love Tanger and Nealer, we know we can beat the Flyers in the playoffs, and so in the strange world that is Playoff Hockey, we vote for the the Flyers.  Yeah, it’s weird. But I digress….

This guy wasn’t always a Flyer, though.  In fact, he’s one of the most famous Penguins of all time, and was also the captain of the Rangers.  He was the Malkin to the Crosby, the talented foreigner who took a backseat to the crybaby Canadian, and without whom the Pens wouldn’t have won the Cup. He also holds a ton of Ranger records, and I think was given the shaft by the NY team who were cleaning out their high-priced house.  He is the phoenix who rises again to have a career at 40, out-skating kids half his age.  For Sexy Saturday this week, we give you:

Jaromír Jágr


Vitals: Born February 15, 1972, Kladno, Czechoslovakia.  6’3″, 240 lbs.  Girlfriend Inna Puhajkova.

Nickname(s): Jags, Jammy, Jagrmeister. Puff Nuts (I have NO idea where this came from).  Mario Jr.  (this is an anagram of “Jaromir” and it refers to Lemieux, who was his mentor)

Current team: Philadelphia Flyers. Right Wing. Shoots left.

Fancy awards: (straight off Wikipedia, I wasn’t typing all this shit out)


  • Stanley Cup Winner – 1991, 1992 (Pittsburgh)
  • Hart Trophy (MVP) – 1999
    • Finalist: 1995, 1998, 2000, 2001, 2006
  • Art Ross Trophy (Leading point scorer) – 1995, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001
  • Lester B. Pearson Award (Players’ MVP) – 1999, 2000, 2006
  • NHL First Team All-Star – 1995, 1996, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2006


  • Flagbearer for the Czechia Olympic Team Flagbearer for the 2010 Olympic Winter Games in Vancouver.
  • Olympic gold medal winner for the Czech Republic in the 1998 Winter Olympics in Nagano
  • Olympic bronze medal for the Czech Republic in the 2006 Winter Olympics in Turin
  • IIHF World Champion – 2005, 2010
  • IIHF European Club Champion – 2005
  • IOC “Sport, inspiring young people” Trophy – 2011
  • Golden Stick Award (1995, 1996, 1999, 2000, 2002, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2011) holder, which is the highest trophy an ice hockey player can get in the Czech Republic. When he won his 6th Golden Stick in 2005, he surpassed Dominik Hašek for the most such awards in Czech and Czechoslovak history; and in 2011, he won his 10th.
  • Czech Sportsman of the Year 2005, a trophy awarded by journalists in the Czech Republic
  • IIHF World Championship All-Star Team – 2004, 2005 and 2011
  • IIHF World Championship directorate award winner (best forward) – 2011
  • In 1998 he was ranked number 37 on The Hockey News’ list of the 100 Greatest Hockey Players. This made him the highest-ranked player to have been trained outside Canada. Jagr, who was only 26 at the time, was additionally the second-youngest player on the list, older only than 25-year-old, No. 54-ranked Eric Lindros.

NHL Records:

These records are as of the end of the 2007–08 season (Jágr’s last NHL season before the current (2011–12) season).

  • Most assists by a rookie in Stanley Cup Finals (1991) – 5
  • Most regular season points by a right wing (1995–96) – 149
  • Most regular season assists by a right wing (1995–96) – 87
  • Most regular season points by a European born and trained player (1995–96) – 149
  • Most regular season points by a player born outside of Canada (1995–96) – 149
  • Most all-time regular season points by a European born and trained player – 1599
  • Most all-time regular season goals by a European born and trained player – 646
  • Most all-time overtime goals – 16
  • Most consecutive 30-goal seasons (1991–2007) – 15 (Shared with Mike Gartner, including the shortened 1994–95 NHL season, 48 games)
  • Most consecutive 70-or-more point seasons (15) (including the shortened 1994–95 NHL season, 48 games)

New York Ranger Records:

  • Most regular season goals by a Rangers player (2005–06) – 54
  • Most regular season points by a Rangers player (2005–06) – 123
  • Most regular season power play goals by a Rangers player (2005–06) – 24
  • Most regular season shots on goal by a Rangers player (2005–06) – 368
  • Most regular season game-winning goals by a Rangers player (2005–06) – 9 (tied with Mark Messier 1996–97 and Don Murdoch 1980–81)
  • Most regular season goals by a Rangers right wing (2005–06) – 54
  • Most regular season assists by a Rangers right wing (2005–06) – 69
  • Most regular season points by a Rangers right wing (2005–06) – 123

Needless to say, Jagr is a BAMF.  That list is insane.

Cool trivia: Wears the number 68 to commemorate the year of the Prague Spring rebellion in Czechoslovakia against the Soviet Union.  His grandfather was jailed for refusing to work his farm for the Communists for free, and died that same year.  Has an older sister, and loves to play tennis. His favorite bands are Bon Jovi and Metallica.  Is a known prankster, and even put on a wig and pretended to be a teammate’s girlfriend.  Is addicted to Kit Kat bars, and has a history of profligate gambling.

Now let me just say before I get started, there is A TON of stuff out there on Jaromir.  I was spoiled for choice, but that just made it harder.  I spent hours (poor me) collecting stuff, then realized there was no way it would all fit in a reasonable-sized post.  I’ve already picked more photos than I have for anyone else. So I may just keep some for a repeat SS in the future.  Or I may just encourage you all to go out and Google till your eyes bleed like I did, and enjoy it all.  What do you think, buddy?

I say both. You can't get enough of me!

Did I mention he was 40? Yeah, and just like me, he’s gotten sexier as he gets older.  So we are gonna save the mullet years for last, and go backwards chronologically.  But first, lets get all the SEXY photos out of the way.  Show us some skin, Jags….


"Hello? Yes, I am a god. And I'm holding my balls. Excuse me, it is my serve."

Jagr and Plekanec going on a ride....


I like to show off the thighs and skate in my shorts.


I feel no cold...I am not human...




"I have hood like Darth Maul. I am dark Jedi."



2010 Vancouver

2006 Turin

1998 Nagano



Hockey is fun! Face-off is fun!

Yeah, I'm Mr. New York.




The MULLET years!

"I got two Stanley Cup rings. I dare you to make fun of my hair"

"I have my own peanut butter! It makes your hair curly!"

"Dude, Mario, my mullet is sooo much better than yours."

Fans doing the 3 Mullets.



Baby Jags, awww


And yes, he’s figured out the Twitter!

Profile pic

Intro video:

So Jags knows math and bears -- or is that naked girls?



Jags, the Fire Chief!

There is also a movement out there…, let me show you the t-shirt first:

There are a bunch out there, but I liked this one best:

And last but not least, your weekly 1 degree of Henrik Lundqvist:

Petr Prucha is the cream filling in this sexy European cookie. Gotta love crotch shots. Hank and Jags can't sit next to each other, or the seats may catch on FIRE.



Oh my goodness, I’m EXHAUSTED!!  That was a ton of stuff.  Yet only the tip of the iceberg.  I guess that’s what happens when you’ve been a legend for over 20 years. I hope y’all enjoyed it.  So until next week……Hey Jags, how about giving us your famous Salute to send us off?


Remember when I posted this?

Yeah, so that is still happening.  This week, I’ve been watching multiple games every night, Tweeting, reading Twitter, reading all the apps and blogs and articles and predictions, and watching pre-post-off day videos……gah!!  I would say it is too much, but I WUVS ITS!  Tonight I’m having the girls (Nikki and our friend Maki, and no, we don’t all belong to a club where our names rhyme, but it is kinda cool) over for food and the Rangers and Sharks games. I am frantically cleaning while I watch game previews.  And I was trying like mad to get this week’s Sexy Saturday done.  I was rushing, and then it occurred to me I didn’t want to rush, because this man deserves to be savored.  I’ve got some good stuff too, and I want to do it justice.  But I’ve simply run out of time today.  So I humbly beg you, my few but awesome and amazing readers, to forgive me for postponing Sexy Saturday until tomorrow.  I won’t change the name (really, is there anything sexy about Sundays?) but it will fall on that day. I was so late last week, I didn’t post until after midnight, so I guess I’m making a habit of this.  Again, my apologies.  But we WILL be up tomorrow, early.

In the mean time, I will try to leave you happy, with Carey Price and his bobblehead:

Canadiiens on Carey’s bobblehead (link to video)

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

I feel sorry for my friends this time of year.  I mean the ones *gasp* that don’t watch hockey.  Frankly, I don’t know what we have in common, but I try to be a friend to all in need. ;D  At any rate, I feel sorry for them because I am UNAVAILABLE for any social functions that don’t involve watching a playoff hockey game.  And they don’t understand that, poor dears.  They are bewildered.  I don’t bother to try and explain — you either get it or you don’t.

I guess that’s why Nikki and I have each other.  Oh wait, I feel sorry for Nikki too — her Lightning didn’t make the playoffs.  And I am not giving her a hard time, I am absolutely serious.  I know how hard it is when your team is done, and you just have to wait and hope for next year.  We both have the Rangers to root for, and she may root for the Sharks if I get her drunk enough.  We’ll see.

Which brings me to another point about this time of year.  I’m so pumped for the playoffs to start, and so excited for my teams (I think my blue blood may be thicker than my teal blood this year, just sayin’), but it is also bittersweet in that it is the beginning of the end.  I don’t want the season to be over.  I don’t want to think about the fact that in less than two months I hit the desert of the summer, and have to wait until the fall for the madness to start all over again.  Hopefully will have “where they took the Stanley Cup” photos from my team to look at to soften the long days ahead, but who knows?  And if not, well, the summer will just blow. From a sports perspective ;D

But we’re not there yet.  Jumping the gun and all that.  So let’s instead jump in and enjoy the craziness that is about to unfold, and forget about the rest.

Some fun stuff that popped up this week:

NY Rangers Music Mix

They all have terrible taste in music, besides King Henrik, which figures, as he is a ROCK GOD.


TSN on Tanger’s hair:



For my James Neal fans out there:

Nealer fan appreciation video clip


Stamkos interview about his 60 goals:

Stammers gets pie’d


For my Red Wings readers:

Red Wings and playoff beards

Wings do have some EPIC facial hair.


I know I have at least one Caps fan, so here ya go:

Slapshot goes red for playoffs
NHL Trophy Tracker so far:

NHL 2012 Trophies


And last but not least, this regional Sports Illustrated cover:




Enjoy the fever, my friends.